Wish I was too dead to cry
My self affliction fades
stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won't let go until it bleeds
Wish I was to dead to care
if indeed i cared at all
never had a voice to protest
so you fed me shit to digest
I wish i had a reason
My flaws are open season
for this I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won't let go until it bleeds
(Solo: Corey)
wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with it's memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
and I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won't let go until it bleeds
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once i hold on....
I'll never live down my deceit
Ok there are some thing that i have to get off my chest here.. now warning that it is going to be truthful and not candy coated like we are all so use to in this world.
K first of all i would like to touch the subject of family and friends.... first of all a true friend is someone that that you can confide in someone that you can talk to.... someone you can trust not to tell everyone else your personal life... we all keep thing close to us and confide in good friends not to say anything but we all know gossip is better than keepin secrets. This really pisses me off sometime i think..."if i wanted my life to be broadcasted the i would write a blog about every personal detail in my life. So no i don't like it!!! I have friends that understand that i am busy and will see me when they see me. Like it isn;t a big deal that they don't see me or talk to me when we get together it is like we never skiped a beat... but not everyone is like that they neeeeed they person to be at there side all the time just incase crisis hits... Now don't get me wrong there are people i would like to see more and people i would like to spend more time with but everyone is busy, everyone has to work late, everyone likes to go home and just chill out... even on weekend!! It doesn't mean that we are not friends or something is wrong it just means that we are all growing up and thing change... i know how it is so nice to spend all the time over at friends places but sometime you need some time to do things yourself.
The other thing is when it comes to people that only phone when they need something... we all have friends, family like this.... They only phone parents, friends...etc only when they need something ... whatever that is, help to move something, money whatever it is. Like what is the real definetion for family?? is it atm? I think this is what really pisses me off here... when it comes to shit like this people say that family is so important and it matter but never want to put the foot forward to make a diffrence... then when they see each other then they say "oh it has been to long we should get together" the usual excuse but never make the diffrence... And then they wonder why they feel out of place and not part of the family? well the reason for this is a relationship is a two way street you can take and give a little as well.. and it makes all the diffrence. It doesn;t cost you anything but i little bit of your precious time and what does that cost you... nothing.. but you rather go home ever night and say that life isn;t what it use to be or you are so busy to look after your health or your finances or your house, or your life..... like give me a break the people that are actually to busy have personal assistance to help them with life..... "life coach" is what they are called ... it is mind blowing how people have got them selves in this predicament to say that they need someone to tell them how to live there life.. whats next??
Fuck it when it comes to anything you need to make a diffrence and put a leg forward to get the stuff you want out of life i understand that people are more busy from time to time but still a phone call can take 5 min and make someones day.... People give a shit about themselves and nothing else and it is quite clear... but shit people don;t like to hear the truth.. thats why people have such a hard time listening to me... i am not perfect by a long shot. But when i am at fault i am the first one to change it... But i speak the truth but everyone is so use to having shit handed to them on a silver plater. sorry i haven't i work for everything i own there has been no hand outs and i know thing because i have the success to prove it..., i don't have the option to rely on mommy and daddy to take care of me and buy me shit, i have to work for it and make my own life.... I am 24 now it has been a process getting to this place but in a week and a half i move into a condo which i have purchased.. at 24 shit. Like i have made some good choices and when i tell people how i did it or try to give a hand i get shit on... and thats ok... because at the end of the day i am going to be in the same situation as everyone else. I REALLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!! But i make the best out of every situation i encounter and take something from it that will hopefully make me a better person! Isn't that what life is about trying to be a better person to make a diffrence?.
When it comes to certain thing that i don't enjoy i am sorry that i am not as intersted in everything that other people are.. do people like what i like... no do people give my stuff a chance... no so i know what i like and i am not FAKE!!!! I know alot of people that drive sport cars and thing they are executives when they are just little boys at heart. Shit i can drive a sweet car too but it doesn;t change the fact that you are still FAKE as ever and everyone can see through that! and i am sorry for the fact that everyone can see that too... but i guess that is just the life style as well.... SO I SAY FUCK IT
I am sick of saying sorry and doing thing for everyone else that i am stretched so thin so i am sorry for that
I am sorry for careing about your well being and trying to help a hand
I am sorry for trying to be a friend to you even that you haven't been one to me.
I am sorry that i talk i know how much you like to talk and interupt people but don't like when it happens to you
I am sorry for working my ass off to be somewhere
I am sorry that life is so difficult and filled with smoking mirrors...
I am sorry you don't feel like part of the family but you get what you give!
I am sorry for this note but i am so sick of this shit what else can i say
I am sorry for what i said
I am sorry for who i am
I am so sorry for who i am..........
actually you know what i am not sorry i am REAL!
This is not directed at anyone specific but it needed to be said... so take it let it swirl up in the head and make a decision. But the time is now...... to start making a diffrence
Listen to this song and reallly listen to is and try to follow the lyrics.. This song is about nothing but so good..
Warning there is alot of screaming so don't say i didn't say so..... enjoy!
Pulmonary Archery Lyrics
Let’s go!!!!
It’s never too late to be early or to try and maintain
some scrap of integrity and certainty…I guess.
(my fingers are blistered and bleeding there’s no longer discomfort you brought me)
But I wont apologize and 1977 was a long time ago. I don’t care
I don’t care
how things were I wont apologize. i wont apologize. Fuck you.
the Alamo has been penetrated and there is little hope for the white man so hope on your rainbow and ride it
(my fingers are blistered and bleeding there’s no longer discomfort you brought me)
into oblivion.
For all I care you can be early or late, what ever.[x2]
So me and my girlfriend are at the bay department store and i pick out some stuff to try on... i friendly ask the lady working if i could try them on..she showed me to the change rooms and it all went down hill from there. I go into the change room and my girlfriend follows me into the lobby of the change rooms ( for an opinion) so i take a look around and don't see anyone so i proceed into and thinking that we are alone i say quite blunt that "it smells like ass in here" ranting about the fact that there is a pin gargabe located in there. So i proceed to trying on my pants... after trying on the first one noticing that when i was pulling up my pants that i had to stuf my dick into these pants..while i am doing this it was like i was doing a play by play for her... laughing at the fact that these pants were too small.... i proceed to trying on the last pair and walking out.. making a comment that my ass looks huge in these pants and the fact that i had to stuff myself into these pants. Joking around i started to comment on my "package" after talking about it for like 5 min i hear a door open in the change room and someone walk out... little did i know that there was someone in the change room the whole time..........
So this was part one of my change room confessions!
K this is a little creepy but i thought what the hell.... i wonder what my system will say because i am always on it like honestly i played on sunday for like 10 hours.... so i guess we will see how it goes
I don't know how else to put this
It's taken me so long to do this
I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body's curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I'm still afraid
Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world
I'm only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I'm so tired that I gotta go
Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through
Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I could have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go
I get to go home in one week
But I leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry
I'm following suit and directions
I crawl up inside for protection
I'm told what to do and I don't know why
I'm over existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away
I'm ready to live with my family
I'm ready to die in obscurity
Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go
Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
You still don't think I'm going see this through
Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still to tired to care and I gotta go
Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Yeah, yeah
Still to tired to care and I gotta go
Go home
Still to tired to care and I gotta go
Yeah yeah
Still to tired to care and I gotta go
Why - is everything so grey - is everything so strange
Is everything so thrown together by mistake?
Why - is everything contrite- is everything a plight
Is everything so insincere and out of sight?
WHY - DOES EVERYTHING SEEM WRONG
DOES EVERYTHING LOOK DEAWN
DOES EVERYTHING SEEM BLASTED LIKE IT DOESN'Y BELONG?
I wanna make it a way - I wanna make it a waste
I wanna make it a gross misadventure
I WANNA MAKE YOU ALL!
I WANNA MAKE YOU ALL!
I WANNA MAKE YOU... lie to me... lie to me...
When - did everything go bad - did everything fall flat
Did everything decay and lose itself so fast?
When - did everything succumb - did everything go numb
Did everything lobotomize what it's become?
WHEN - DOES EVERYTHING COME BACK
DOES EVERYTHING RELAPSE
DOES EVERYTHING SAVE FACE AND FIND ITSELF AT LAST?
I wanna show you the way - I wanna show you the waste
I wanna show you the worst misadventure
I WANNA SHOW YOU ALL!
I WANNA SHOW YOU ALL!
I WANNA SHOOW YOU HOW TO... die for me... die for me...
I wanna give it a way - i wanna give it the waste
I wanna give it the worst misadventure
I WANNA GIVE IT ALL!
I'M GANNA GIVE IT ALL!
I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!
Lie to me... die for me...
Now - everything's a lie - everything's your lie
Everything's a face inside another lie
Now - everything's a side - everything's one side
Everything depends on just which side you're on...
I came across asking myself this question late one night before going to bed and i really wonder if alphabets are diffrent in other languages. If you go to Japan will they be diffrent from here? I really wonder and it would be an interesting fact to have a box from every country... but what could you possible to spell anything in the milk? Maybe i am on to something here..... maybe it is a super language that no one knows about.......... Makes me wonder
